


Hitchhiker's Guide to the Multiverse

by hopefulundertone



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 19:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4678268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopefulundertone/pseuds/hopefulundertone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ford didn't stop writing journals after he went through the portal. How could he have, with all the new, fascinating, impossible things he was seeing everyday? He was still a scientist at heart, and this was his area of expertise, after all.</p>
<p>(or, the misadventures of Stanford Pines in and around the multiverse.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> im sort of in love with ford pines and i also want to know more about this Mysterious Stranger so this happened. chapters will circulate around particular events; there may be more or less logs depending on how big the event is.

Log 1

My name is Stanford Pines. I am human, 30 years old, and American. I lived in New Jersey, and then later in Oregon, in a town known as Gravity Falls. I attended Backupsmore University. I have a father, a mother, both recently deceased, and a brother. A twin, Stanley Pines, who pushed me into a portal I built to an anomalous dimension that I had suspected was leaking its anomalies into ours. We fought, and he activated it by accident and pushed me in. 

Good, remembering is good. 

After that, I think... I may have gone insane there, for a while. I should've known, of course, that the dimension would be too much for one person to handle. It was sensory overload on a massive scale with every single sense. The six senses, of course, but also my logic, intuition, emotions, primal instincts, and senses I didn't even know I possessed. The experience was like a million screaming, crying, wailing voices all at once, flowing through my ears and squeezing my brain until I thought it would surely burst. The pain was indescribable. I am unsure of how long it continued for. My innate sense of time, although usually accurate to the second, was also dissected and put back together. Time doesn't run the same as it does on Earth. Just another thing to push me off-balance, now. The torture lasted for an eternity and yet was over in a split-second. I don't remember what it was like, or I remember every second with the most vivid clarity. Perhaps both. I was disassembled, taken apart to the small molecule and then smaller, refined through fire, and reassembled with painstaking care, or possibly just thrown back together in a jumble, and everything is so, so different. 

An immeasurable amount of time later, I pulled myself back together. It took a gargantuan effort, one the likes of I have never exerted before. My willpower has always been strong, strong enough to get a Ph.D in three years, strong enough to turn on the only one who might've stuck by me all this time, but it almost wasn't strong enough to tip the scales. I have decided to keep a journal. It was the only thing that kept me alive and hanging on back in Gravity Falls. Now, the scale of weirdness is many times larger, but I am still just Stanford Pines, and if I should be the man I was, then I will survive, and I will thrive. 

After all, it appears I am now among others of my kind. I should feel right at home.


	2. Xenototl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One planet in, and Ford's already in a spot of trouble.

Log 2

Something strange has happened. I cannot do much but hypothesise what it was, but I do have a theory. I woke up today, if a day has even passed, and found myself in a dark alley near a road. This world is totally different from the one I was in before I went to sleep. That place was white and undefined and awful, and this is definitely a defined planet. Yet, the ground is pink and purple, the inhabitants of this world come in all shapes, sizes and colours, and I find myself on more than one occasion being stared at. I have since returned to my alley to write this. 

My theory is that when I went through the portal, I absorbed all the power from it, which is likely why I couldn't get back. Without the power that I had pumped and kept cycling into the contained field of the portal, it shut down, and that power is now inside me. This completely destroys my previous hypothesis of a single dimension of weirdness. I am forced to revise it, and conclude that there are billions of dimensions out there. This is not a new theory by any means, but its confirmation has left me somewhat in shock. Perhaps there is a Gravity Falls in every single dimension, in the exact same spot in time and space, and it is this particular spot that is leaking anomalies. Instead of one dimension of strange things that don't make sense and have no correlation to each other leaking into Gravity Falls, it is different anomalies from different dimensions, where it is the norm, although I shudder to think of a dimension where those gnomes are common. I'm not sure how much more of that "be our queen" thing I can survive without committing genocide on their entire species. This is only a hypothesis, however. I can only hope that I am wrong, for if I should be correct, well, I'm in for a hell of a time. 

Still, never let it be said that Stanford Pines doesn't land on his feet wherever he goes. I'm about to document things that have never before been revealed to the human mind, but if there was anyone that could do it, I daresay it's probably me. 

 

Log 3

I am writing this a day after the previous log, and I have discovered so much. It turns out this world is called Xenototl, and it is one of the greatest planets in this quadrant of the galaxy. This was explained to me by a friendly food seller, who had eight eyes, three limbs, and a somewhat disturbing mouth of needle-like fangs. I later found out that these were prehensile the hard way, and had to beat a hasty escape. I will have to be much more careful than this should I want to survive and return to my own dimension. I did, however, manage to receive a translator. It is a fantastic and strange creature known to these people as a Babel fish, and I am told (after inserting it into my ear and instantly understanding their speech) that it is an essential item to have when travelling the galaxy. The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing I have ever seen, Gravity Falls anomalies included. A pamphlet on it that I was given tells me that it feeds on brain wave energy, absorbing all unconscious frequencies and then excreting telepathically a matrix formed from the conscious frequencies and nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain, the practical upshot of which is that if you stick one in your ear, you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language: the speech you hear decodes the brain wave matrix. I have also procured a holo-map of this world, and it is magnificent! Aliens from all over the galaxy come to trade and learn from each other, each sharing a different but equally intriguing culture with the rest. Surely I can find someone with the knowledge to help me return to my dimension. Tomorrow I will continue my search. 

 

Log 4

Xenototl is a far more dangerous place than I suspected. They have games here that terrify me; like cock-fighting or bullfighting, except with people. Anyone who comes here is subject to their games. Nothing can escape. I suspect they have some sort of surveillance set up, taking down all available information on everybody here, and here I've been, foolishly flaunting myself. I haven't seen any other humans here, so I'm assuming that this is a point at which humans have not reached faster-than-light space travel, and here I am, one of those same humans, never seen before. 

I am scheduled to take part in a sadistic game tomorrow. If I do not report, I will be a fugitive from the law here in Xenototl, and that would be going up against something I do not understand nor have full knowledge of. However, the game I do understand. Five "lucky" victims are to be launched into a pool of some unidentified substance. I do not yet know the exact effects this will have on me, but I am assured it will be harmful. There, they must battle a chosen champion of undisclosed species, and should they win, be allowed to find their way out on their own, using what the champion has carried with him. Presumably, these are tools, but there is no guarantee there will be five of such. It will be a battle to the most bloodiest death I have ever seen, let alone survive. I cannot lose, though. Not when I've just been proved right. A scientist is always at his most powerful when he discovers his theory is correct. Tonight, I will locate some materials and hopefully cobble together a device to help me survive this. 

Still, if I die, this would be the way to go. An alien planet in a different dimension, in a fatal game beats old age at least.

 

Log 5

I won! [unidentifiable greenish splatter] turned out to be an easily neutralised acid, and I was able to [unidentifiable greenish splatter] by building tiny tasers. All I had to do was clap them onto my opponent, and [unidentifiable greenish splatter]. However, the champion was not as quickly defeated. He managed to gore me several times in the arms and chest, despite the scaly armour I was able to procure from [blood splatter]. However, I had noticed that the champion was impervious to the acid, and in a last-ditch attempt, threw the rest of the neutral pH solution onto him. It ate at him like acid would, and [blood splatter] quickly fell. He was carrying on him a laser cutter and two huge scimitars, which I relieved him of and used to escape. 

However, I soon found out that the victims were not actually supposed to win, and barely escaped. They will find me soon, so I have to keep moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! comment if you caught the hitchiker's guide to the galaxy reference


End file.
